Losing Weight And Feeling Full
revised 1/19/19
This Page is the basic story of my weight loss journey. It includes the inspirations and methods that have contributed to my long term healthier lifestyle. I think it is very much worth the read. It is a little long and a little difficult to read at a computer. I suggest that you load your printer with about 12 pieces of paper and print this story. Then grab a cup of coffee or a beer and sit down in a comfortable chair to get the most out of it.
The story I am sharing below is not intended to be advice. What has worked for me, may not work for others. In fact, some experts would probably call a few of my habits and methods a little unhealthy. At one time, I was about 55 pounds heavier than I am now. I just feel that I have been blessed with very happy healthy living and I would like to see others have a chance to be just as fortunate.
Looking back, I believe I can first see evidence of God’s plan working in my life back in 1966. My wife, Brenda’s parents were guided by God to build a new home right next door to where my parents had just built a new home. I was 6 years old at the time. Brenda and I grew up in Fort Wayne Indiana, first as neighbors and then playmates; I think our parents caught us playing doctor a couple times. As we grew, we dated off and on several times over the years. In the summer of 1981, Brenda moved with her parents to Las Vegas and then shortly after that they moved to Phoenix Arizona.
While she was living out west, Brenda and I had occasional contact and visits and tried unsuccessfully to maintain a relationship. In the summer of 1984, we intended to permanently end our relationship. After some emotional ups and downs, I decided I was over her and firmly decided to have no further contact with her ever again. As of a year later, we had no contact of any kind. In May of 1985, one day the phone rang and I answered it. As I heard Brenda’s voice on the other end of the line, my knees buckled and my stomach sank, so I sat down on the couch. As we spoke, Brenda explained that she sent me a letter, not sure if I wanted anything to do with her. The letter stated that she planned to call me at that date and time. If I was not interested in talking, I did not need to answer the phone. I did not get the letter until a few days after the phone call. Had I got the letter, I doubt that I would have answered the phone. I believe that God made sure that I not only did not receive the letter until later, but that I was home at the time the phone rang. Over the next few months, we continued to write and phone each other. Thanksgiving weekend of 1985, I flew out to Phoenix, loaded Brenda, her car and her things into a piece of junk moving truck and moved her back to Fort Wayne so she could live with my parents. On Friday December the 13th, I went to the 13th floor of a building in Downtown Fort Wayne and bought an engagement ring. I thought, buying an engagement ring on Friday the 13th on the 13th floor of a tall building was bound to be a bad idea. Just before the start of midnight service, on Dec 24th 1985, in the back of a dimly lit church, I asked Brenda to marry me. On June 7th of 1986 we were married in that same church. We have had a very very happy marriage. We have seldom if ever fought even slightly. I just do everything her way and we get along just fine. When our anniversary comes around, we believe that we are not just celebrating our marriage; we believe that we are celebrating the continuation of our never ending honeymoon. By the grace of God, our honeymoon will continue for the rest of our lives.
In 1986, I weighed over 180 pounds so I tried to lose a little weight before the wedding, which did not happen. By early 1996, I was weighing over 215pounds and had about a 41” waist. I had spent the previous ten years trying and failing at various short term diets unsuccessfully. I had been working a fairly stressful management job and frequently used food as a pacifier to calm my nerves. Over the ten years, we had 2 children, Brenda and I were both working full time. We seldom had the time or energy to prepare dinner, so like many families our dinners were frequently fast food. Instead of losing weight, the stress of work and life was causing me to lose my hair. In the summer of ‘96, I left the stressful management job and became part owner of a restaurant/bar. I spent the rest of the year working and frequently eating in our restaurant. The food was mostly sandwiches, entrees and home style food, no fast food. Without even trying to lose weight, I lost 30 pounds in 6 months. In Dec of ‘96, I took a job doing commercial maintenance and construction. I went back to frequently eating fast food. I remember a Burger King near one construction site, having 99 cent Whoppers. I would have 1 Whopper for breakfast and have 2 Whoppers for lunch and then frequently have fast food for dinner. Even though, I was doing fairly physical construction work, in a short time, I regained the 30 pounds I had lost when I was not eating fast food.
By the start of 1999, I was back up to 215 pounds. In late January 1999, Brenda’s mom passed away at age 60, due to a heart attack, which was caused by living for many years with Diabetes. Brenda and I had been neighbors throughout our childhood and our families were very close. Her mom was like a second mom to me. Her death was difficult and I became very interested in learning what I could about diabetes. Later that spring I accepted my employers offer to take a position working in the Indianapolis area. Brenda and I decided that if we were relocating to a new area, we did not want her working outside the house, we definitely wanted her home with our 8 year old daughter and 5 year old son. At the time we relocated, Brenda had been bringing home more than half of our household income, it was going to be a financial struggle to get by on just my income, I knew I could not continue to spend 4 bucks a day on fast food breakfast and 6 bucks a day on fast food lunch; over $250 bucks a month on daytime meals so I started packing lunches to save money. Since Brenda was not working, she started making home cooked dinners every night. One day after lunch l, I was at work welding. I was leaning up against a large piece of equipment, looking through the darkness of my welding mask. My finger was pulling on the trigger of a welder gun that was shooting fire and sparks to weld the metal pieces together. The next thing I knew, I woke up to find my coat sleeve on fire. I had dozed off. A few days later, Brenda’s Aunt Shirley (her mom’s sister) was spending a few days with us. I told her the story about how I had dozed off at work. Shirley had been a nurse most of her life and was fairly knowledgeable about health issues. She told me that I may have been consuming too many carbs, which turn to sugar. Excess sugar in my diet could be causing my system to crash, causing me to get groggy after lunch. So I started packing one sandwich instead of two and started packing a variety of high protein energy bars. I was not trying to lose weight. I was eating a lot. I was eating very large bowls of cereal for breakfast, packing at least 2 large sandwiches for lunch and Brenda’s home cooked dinners were awesome, after working 12 hour days; I was piggin’ out for supper. Within a few months, I lost 20 pounds just by giving up the fast food to save money.
By the start of the year 2000, I was weighing about 195 pounds. I had spent the previous year reading everything I could find about diabetes. I had learned that some of the leading causes of Diabetes were believed to be Obesity and inactivity. At the time, I also read that the rate of the diagnosis of Diabetes was increasing dramatically. Many experts blamed the dramatic increase in Diabetes on the dramatic increase in Obesity. I also learned that the rates of Obesity and Diabetes were dramatically increasing for children. Many of these same experts claim that because of the epidemic levels of childhood Obesity and Diabetes, today’s children will be the first generation to average a shorter life expectancy than their parents. Today’s parents will be the first generation of parents likely to bury their own children. Genetics were also listed as a common cause of Diabetes. At the time, my 6 year old son was fairly chunky, not yet, quite as overweight as his dad, but when I looked around it was easy to see that overweight adults commonly have overweight children, I was certain that if I continued my lifestyle at the time, I would be leading my son to a life of Obesity and a greater likelihood of Diabetes. I realized that I could not do anything about his genetic risk of Diabetes except pray, but I also knew that if either of my children contracted Diabetes as a result of Obesity, I would feel very directly responsible. I would feel that my lack of control over my behavior had inflicted my child with a very serious disease.
So at the beginning of the Century, I made a New Years resolution to get in shape. I wanted to lose 10 pounds before our family vacation in June. I started by brushing the dust off of our treadmill, and tried to burn 100 calories, walking approximately 20 minutes 3 times a week. I did that until spring, then I would mow the grass twice a week or do other yard work. A friend had told me that he had lost quite a bit of weight by staying under 20 grams of fat per day before supper and then eating anything he wanted for supper. I thought to myself, if I could look forward to one good normal meal per day, I felt like I could probably handle that. Back then, I was not aware that there were good fats and bad fats, so I counted total fats. Looking back on it, I was probably consuming around 10g Sat Fat and zero Trans Fat before supper. I read that if the body feels hunger, the metabolism slows down, making weight loss difficult. So I made the decision to start each day with a bowl of healthy, whole grain, low fat cereal such as Total Raisin Bran to avoid feeling hunger. I also tried to keep some low fat snacks such as Kashi bars or fruit handy to fall back on if I started to feel very hungry. I also read that trans fat was the worst kind of fat to eat. Much of fast food at the time was and still is high in 2 types of bad fats, saturated fat and trans fat. I had also heard that the processing of many fast foods caused those foods to loose their nutrients. So, if I ate fast food, even though my stomach may feel satisfied, my body still felt hunger for nutrients. So I believed that the consumption of fast food was a double edged sword. Not only would it be putting more of the worst kinds fat into my body, my body would be storing more fat because it felt hunger. So I decided to avoid trans fat and fast food like the plague. One day after a few weeks of avoiding trans fat and not eating any fast food, we stopped at a local fast food restaurant and had a burger. I felt lousy afterward. Not sick, just heavy, bloated and groggy. I realized that I had spent many years feeling that way all the time, assuming it was normal. I guess I had to stay off the trans fat and fast food long enough to actually feel good, to know what bad feels like. It made avoiding fast food quite a bit easier. Now days, it is possible to go on the internet or on our phone and learn the nutritional value of restaurant foods. It is usually possible to find at least one item at each restaurant that is not an FMD (Food of Mass Destruction). I will occasionally allow myself to have a Wendy’s small chili or sensible Subway such as ham and turkey, no mayo. In my opinion, the Subway Tuna Salad sub is an FMD because of the Mayo. In the beginning I would start each day with a large bowl of healthy, whole grain cereal for breakfast at about 3a.m. Then I would eat a high protein energy bar for an 8a.m. snack. Then I would eat baked chips and salsa for lunch. All total, I was eating about 15 grams of fat per day, and then about anything I wanted for supper. I actually lost over 20 pounds before our June vacation.
During the year 2000, I lost over 20 pounds before June. By the end of the year, like most years, I gained a little back over the holidays. At the start of 2001 I weighed about 180 pounds so I made a resolution to try to lose 15 to 20 pounds before our June family vacation. Every year, I would try to make a resolution to lose some more weight. I would always weigh myself daily at the same time with the same clothes on. I would usually set small obtainable weight loss targets. I have long been a believer that I would rather under promise and over deliver. It is seldom disappointing to exceed our expectations. The philosophy has kept my wife happy. I would also mark the back side of my belt with a Sharpie. I would draw a circle around the next notch on my belt making it a target. When I would reach the target comfortably, I would allow myself to draw an “X” through the target and then draw a new target on the next notch. Sometimes I would reach the belt target without reaching the weight target. By having 2 targets to shoot for, I had a better chance of reaching a target that would help provide motivation to keep me aiming for a new target. Each year I would also make a resolution to change one habit or improve one health behavior. One year I would give up caffeine, another year I would try to give up table salt or increase protein or increase fiber. In 2007, my resolution was to reduce soft drinks and increase water. For years, I had consumed 10-12 cans of pop per day. Even though they were diet drinks, if the calories weren’t bad for me, the cans probably were. That much aluminum was probably poisonous. Trying to increase water was difficult, but now I am up to about 5 or 6 bottles per day. I’ve heard that I should drink 1 ounce for every 2 pounds of my goal weight. So, if my goal weight is 150 pounds, my water goal should be 75 ounces per day. A few years ago, I heard that visceral fat, or fat around the belly area increases the risk of Diabetes. Fat around the mid section tends to start on the Liver causing the Liver to work harder, which then causes the Pancreas to work harder, eventually failing and leading to Diabetes. I also heard that strength exercises were better for losing weight than cardio exercises, because Cardio exercises only burn extra calories while exercising. Strength exercises increase the metabolism, which burns extra calories 24/7, even when I sleep, I could burn more calories; so instead of doing the treadmill, I got a sit-up bench and started doing about 50 sit ups per day. Then a year or so later, I started doing about 50 push ups per day. I currently put my feet on a stool about 18” high to increase the intensity of my push ups.
In the year 2009, I was diagnosed with mild Anemia. Likely from years of avoiding red meat. So I started taking an Iron Supplement and eating a little more (lean) red meat.
At the start of 2010, my daughter found a commercial grade stair climber at the Goodwill for 20 bucks. It was a real deal of the Century. Once we got it home and cleaned it up, it looked almost brand new. I priced identical machines on Ebay for over a thousand bucks. My resolution this year was to rotate my exercises. Every other day I would do 50 sit ups along with 50 push ups. On alternate days, I would burn 100 calories on the stair climber. I set the stair climber on speed 70, so I climb 40 floors or 400 feet in a little over 5 minutes. Whether I do my 50 and 50 or my Hundred Calories, it only takes about 5 minutes per day, but it is pretty intense. On my days off I usually don’t exercise. Maybe I walk the dog.
This year the family also made a resolution to have a Light Night 2 nights per week. Our kids are both teenagers now with different food tastes, so we each make our own dinner, something quick and light. Then we all sit down and eat together. Way back when the kids were toddlers, on the advice of my sixth grade teacher, we made it a household policy to sit down to dinner TOGETHER as frequently as possible, with the TV OFF. On light nights I commonly have a small pack of salmon or tuna and a bowl of cereal. To make the cereal more of a meal, I usually mix 3 or 4 kinds of healthy cereal together, and add some raisins, trail mix, banana and honey. Honey has a lower Glycemic index than sugar which means honey is less likely to cause Diabetes than sugar. A while back I read that honey is good for the immune system. I believe that’s true because every time I eat some honey, I feel just great when I get done. I have learned to enjoy cereal or fruit such as watermelon or fresh pineapple instead of sweets for desert and snacks. A while back, my wife must have read something in the news about the special health benefits of watermelon because she has been buying a lot of it lately.
Recently we also made a family decision to treat High Fructose Corn Syrup like Trans Fat and avoid it like the plague. High Fructose Corn Syrup is one of the first ingredients in many non-diet soft drinks. My wife was recently told by a rep from the American Diabetes Association, that some studies are starting to show a link between High Fructose Corn Syrup and Diabetes.
I strongly believe healthy, whole grain cereals have been a large benefit to my effort to lose weight. Some nights, when I crave another plate full of dinner, I will have a bowl of cereal instead. A full cup of Multi Grain Cheerios with skim milk is only 150 calories, zero fat, a decent amount of fiber and 100% of a whole bunch of vitamins and minerals. At one time, I considered writing a book about my diet and calling it the TLC Diet, (Tim LaFever Cereal Diet).
In 1999, I weighed 215 pounds and had a snug 40” waist. I was so fat, the back of my neck looked like a pack of hot dogs. Now in June of 2010, before our family vacation, I am 50 years old. I weigh less than 155 pounds, and wear 32 waist, Dockers Classic Fit, Flat Front pants. I very comfortably wear 32 waist, Standard Fit jeans. I don’t think I have had a 32 waist pants since I was a Junior in High School. And I have about 9 X’s on the back of my work belt.
While my effort to live healthy has been blessed with success so far, I have and still do experience some struggles along the way. At the beginning of my weight loss journey, my wife and the rest of the family were not on board with my new lifestyle. Once they started going along with it, things were quite a bit easier. My parents were both very hard workers while I was growing up, so I developed a fairly strong work ethic. During the day when I am at work, it is not difficult for me to do what I think I should be doing and that includes eating what I think I should eat. It was not too difficult for me to completely give up soft drinks during the work day. I still allow myself to have a soft drink with after work meals. Most people can not eat the same thing every day. When I am at work it is not difficult for me to eat the same thing every day for weeks or months at a time. By doing so, the only variable in my diet is usually supper. By weighing myself daily and by watching how my belt fits, I would get some idea of which foods that I ate were more difficult to burn off. For example: if I had one of my favorites, a Pizza Hut Meat Lovers Pizza, on Saturday night, it seemed like I carried the weight until about the following Thursday. If I went to Pizza Hut on Saturday night and got a Chicken Veggie Pizza, by Monday morning my weight was usually back down to what it was prior to the weekend.
One of my big struggles is portion control. I read a while back that what ever a woman eats during her pregnancy, the child will likely grow up with a desire for that food. I think my mom must have been a PIG. Just kiddin’ mom. If I go to a pitch in, pot luck or buffet, I can put away an unbelievable amount of food. My family nearly falls asleep waiting on me to finish eating. Holidays are a real struggle. One year I weighed myself Thanksgiving morning. Before bed that same day, I weighed myself again and I actually, no exaggeration, my wife saw it, I gained 12 pounds. By learning and remembering what the Bible says in Proverbs 23, Ezekiel 16, and Philippians 3 about gluttony being a sin, I have learned to control my binging somewhat, most of the time. I still lose control once in a while. I also struggle with leftover food. If there is not enough dinner left to make a meal for another night, because I hate to see good home cooked food thrown away, I will usually want to go ahead and finish eating it all. I have just recently learned to let small amounts of food be thrown away. Giving up soft drinks and paying for water were both very difficult adjustments for me to make. I usually do not like the taste of most tap waters but I was able to get myself to realize the bottled waters cost less than soft drinks. Because artificial sweeteners do not bother me like they do some people, I can occasionally add flavored fitness or energy powders to my bottled waters. Cheese was also a very difficult thing for me to cut back on. Having calcium and protein, most cheese is not all that unhealthy. But I would always put piles of shredded cheese on anything warm enough to melt it. I have since learned to substitute parmesan cheese which is much lower in saturated fat than most shredded cheeses.
I have had a few personal traits that have been helpful along the way. First, I do not mind lawn work and shoveling snow. It is easier for me to exercise when it serves a purpose. Secondly, some people need to add fat to food to give it a desirable flavor. It was not difficult for me to avoid fried food. I do occasionally allow myself to have homemade fried chicken or fish. I use canola oil or peanut oil for deep frying and olive oil for pan frying. Most fried potato chips and French fries are FMD’s. Deep fried in saturated and or trans fat. I like spicy foods so it is easy for me to add spice to veggies and other foods that some people would consider too bland to enjoy. I have read recently that the capsaicin(component of peppers that creates the burning sensation) in hot peppers helps to raise metabolism and increase the burning of calories. I have read that the common ingredients of Salsa: Garlic, Onion and Cayenne Pepper are 3 of the 5 top natural antibiotics. Tomatos contain Lycopene, a vital anti-oxidant that helps in the fight against cancerous cell formation as well as other kinds of health complications and diseases.
Trying to live healthy has several advantages other than my lower weight. I used to have Sleep Apnea, a condition in which my air way would become closed off while I was sleeping and I would wake up coughing and gasping for air. I have not experienced that condition in years. I also used to have frequent lower back pain. It has been gone for years. I make fewer day and night trips to the bathroom. For years I have always had a stool in the closet to sit down on to put on my socks and pants. Several years ago, I noticed that I was standing, balancing on one foot as I was putting on my socks and pants one leg at a time, while the stool sat empty. In 2001 I had spent the day on a construction sight working on my knees. For the next few days my knees were killing me. At the time, I met a business acquaintance who told me that he had always had knee problems until he started taking Gloucosamine and Chondroitin (a joint supplement). I went to the Wal Mart and bought some and have been taking some ever since. Now I frequently spend 8 to 10 hour days working construction on my knees and the next day, I have no discomfort. Guys half my age can barely walk the next day. I also do an Air Borne Vitamin C supplement in a bottle of water every day. By the grace of God, I have not had a sick day since Feb 2001. Several years ago, I also started taking a couple fish oil pills (rich in omega 3) everyday. If you search health benefits of Omega-3, you will find an extraordinary amount of info. I think it is supposed to help avoid Alzheimer’s, but I can’t remember. We save money on food. Many Wal Mart brand foods have zero trans fat. Trans fat is anything that is partially hydrogenated. The way I understand it. Food makers are allowed to have half a gram of trans fat per serving in food and still call it zero trans fat. So if a serving of cookies is 2 cookies, and I ate 4 cookies, I could be eating 1 gram of trans fat. I save time by taking my lunch to work instead of standing in line at so called fast food restaurants.
One of the best advantages has been seeing my kids become young adults and neither one is chunky, they are both at very desirable healthy weight.
A few years ago, my wife and kids and I all sat down together and decided on our family values:
God
Family
Health
Education
Honest Work.
These values are printed and prominently displayed in each bedroom. Because we were all on board, it is convenient to refer to our values as a reminder if the kids want to stay up late on a school night, or if somebody brings home snacks that lack nutrition or are loaded with bad fats. A few years ago, we told the kids they had to limit all after school snacks to 300 calories or less and no trans fat. When the kids go to Wal Mart with us to get groceries and they see a snack that looks good. They pick up the package and without us saying anything, they read the label before they even attempt to put it in the cart. If it has bad ingredients they put it back and try to find a healthier alternative. Just as if I had continued my unhealthy habits which would have likely rubbed off on the kids, our healthy habits have rubbed off on the kids just as well. Now our kids are young responsible adults, they both live on their own. They both have gym memberships, are fit and have healthy habits.
The weight loss did have a couple disadvantages. I occasionally needed to buy new clothes which was kind of a curse and blessing because as I would lose the weight, I would give the old clothes to Goodwill. I hate to spend money on clothes, so I had good incentive to keep the weight off to avoid buying back the clothes I had just given away. A few years ago, I was working on a winter construction site. I was walking toward the Porta Lets to use the restroom as I was pulling off my gloves and I heard a tinkle on the ground. Tinkle on the ground, while walking toward a Porta Let doesn’t sound right. But anyway. Later that day, I noticed that my wedding band was gone. My fingers had become skinny enough to allow it to fall off, probably in front of the Porta Let. It was winter with snow on the ground, so I was unable to find it and had to buy a new one.
Well, that’s about enough about my healthy living. I have also been blessed with many, many years of happy living. My wife and I have been very happily married since 1986. We seldom, if ever, argue and have never argued in front of the kids. I started losing weight and exercising to stay in shape over 20 years ago which definitely brought me quite a bit of happiness. I strongly believe that the relationships my family and I have developed with God through our Church, our Church Family and our Home Group Family have been a great source of a very large portion of our happiness. Like I said earlier, we moved to the Indy area in 1999. My wife and I were both confirmed Catholic and occasionally attended the local Catholic Church but never really connected.
In 2002 my wife started attending various Churches in the area trying to find a place that we would all feel good about. One day she told me that the local Christian Church that her and the kids had been attending, was getting ready to have the grand opening of their new Worship Center. She asked if I wanted to go with them. Well I was skeptical, but I decided to go with an open mind. I was totally WOWED. The place just clicked. Everybody shined. The music was great. The sermon was awesome. I figured that after the newness wore off, things would settle down. A few months later we went to the Church one evening to attend Vacation Bible School. While we were walking from the parking lot to the Church, our kids took off running to the door of the Church. I told my wife that when I was their age, my parents had to drag me to the Church, our kids were RUNNING! I knew then that we were in the right place. Now that our children have grown into extraordinary young adults, I strongly encourage new parents to find a good Church that has thriving Youth Ministries. The Youth Ministries at our Church have been a tremendous blessing to our children. A few years after we started attending the Church, I read the book Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren. Then I started reading and studying the Bible. I strongly recommend both books. Because of our Church, our kids read and know the Bible better than I did when I was 40 years old. And I can honestly say that after more than 17 years attending the Church, the WOW has NOT worn off, not even a little bit.
A few years ago I was averaging over 65 hours a week at work. About then, the Senior Pastor at our Church did a sermon that I call his Marbles In A Bucket Sermon. He had a bag of marbles. He told us he had one marble in the bag for every weekend that he had left to spend with his daughters before they turned 18 and headed off to college. Every week he would take a marble out of the bag and throw it in to the metal bucket that he kept in his office. Like the marble, that weekend was gone. As he stepped off the stage, the Church was silent as he took a marble from the bag and threw it into the bucket. If you can picture the sound of a marble landing in a metal bucket with a clear echoing thud. I clearly remember that it sounded so final and so alone. The sermon really hit me. My wife and I went home and made a list of all the wants that were affordable to the family because of all those overtime hours. We sat down with the kids and ask them if they wanted daddy home more often. Or if they wanted to keep having all the things on the list. They said they wanted daddy home more often. So we started crossing things off the list. Like eating healthy, it was a lot easier knowing everybody was on board. I doubt that I would have ever reduced my hours and my income if the whole family would not have been on board. About the same time, my employer started asking me to reduce my hours. So every year since then, I have tried to cut back a little. This year, my goal is to work 52 hours per week or less. Tony Dungy says in his book Quiet Strength, “I really wanted to show people you can win all kinds of ways….For your faith to be more important than your job, for your family to be more important than that job… we all know that’s the way it should be…I’m not afraid to say it."
Don’t get me wrong. I like my job very much. My dad spent 30 years at a job he hated getting paid very little in order to provide for his family. I thank God frequently that I have a job that I enjoy and I get paid pretty good. I feel truly blessed to have such a fortunate opportunity to provide for my family, I just try to keep things at a healthy balance for my family. God has also blessed us over the last few years by helping Brenda find employment opportunities working from home. That has definitely given us the opportunity to much better afford all of our needs and a lot more of our wants.
My family and I have had many many years of rich happiness. The last several years have likely been better than I deserve. I realize that none of my attempts to lose weight and live healthy would have happened but for the grace of God. I know that apart from Him, I can do nothing. I pray that God gives me the wisdom to continue eating to live, instead of living to eat. The Bible tells us in Romans 8 and 1Corinthians 3 and 6 that our body is the Lord’s Temple and we should take care of it. I also realize that despite all my efforts to live healthy, I could die tomorrow. Each breath we take could very well be our last. I hope that I always have the faith to accept God’s will regardless of what his plan may be. Looking back to when Brenda’s mom past away, I believe now that it may have been part of God’s plan to guide us to where we are now. When we lived in Fort Wayne, we lived near Brenda’s parents and Brenda and her mom were very close. I strongly believe that if Brenda’s mom had been alive when I received my employers offer to move 2 hours away, to the Indy area, we would have never considered it. If we had not accepted the offer to move, I doubt that we would have made the decision for her to stay home with our kids, which I believe was a very good thing for our family and my health. If we had not accepted the offer to move, we would have never found our wonderful Church and my family and I would not likely have the strong relationships we have with God.
That pretty much concludes my story about how I got to where I am now. I feel that I have always been very happy. I have great parents. My Mom and Dad always worked very hard to provide lots and lots of wants, needs and love for my sisters and I while I was growing up. Since I was very young, I have always had some relationship with God but had very little knowledge of his wants as I don’t think I had ever read a full page of the Bible. After my family and I joined our Church, I started reading and studying the Bible. I also made a commitment in my heart to become a better Christian.
I am not saying that I am holier than thou, a saint or any better person than anybody else. As the Bible says in Romans 3, we all sin, we all fall short. The Bible also tells us in First John 1, if we claim we have not sinned, we make God out to be a liar. Though I occasionally slip and fail to do what I know is right, I try to be very persistent about always doing good and becoming a better Christian.
I guess you might say that because of my deeper relationship with God, I have gone from a very happy but Spiritually empty 215 pounds to a happier, Spiritually full 160 pounds. Looking back, I would say that my wife and kids have been my biggest inspiration to try to live a more healthy and more Spiritual lifestlye.
If you would like to know more details about my weight loss, you are invited to read the other Pages of my Web Site. They include a chart of my Typical Daily Eating. Food Categories: lists of foods that I have categorized Green-go for it, Yellow-consume with caution, Red-FMD (foods of mass destruction). There is also a page called Most Wanted Foods. It provides photos of foods and supplements that I believe have helped me get to my present weight. To the best of my knowledge all info is accurate at this time. Food manufacturers do frequently change ingredients.
Over the years I have attempted to continue my education about healthy eating. Sometimes it can be a little confusing. Eggs were bad for us, now they’re not. Vitamin D is being called the latest miracle nutrient. Where do we get vitamin D? From the Sun, the same place we get skin cancer. I recently heard one of the Doctors on one of the afternoon TV programs say that if we live north of Georgia, it is hard to get enough Vitamin D without a supplement.
For the most part, I have focused on counting Fat Grams, especially Sat Fat, Protein, Fiber and recently Iron. I have put little effort into counting calories, carbs or salt. Over the years, my blood work has not shown any concern regarding sodium or cholesterol. Some of the foods and frozen entrees I eat, i.e. the Asian ones are a little high in sodium.
Over the years, I have learned that it is much easier to lose weight and eat healthy if the whole house is on board. If you have someone in your house trying to eat healthier and or lose weight, even if you do not need to, I encourage you to get on board and be supportive. Their life and the lives of your children might depend on it. For those of us who are not naturally thin, trying to down size can be a real struggle. Just because a person is naturally thin, doesn’t mean they do not have room to eat a little healthier.
I encourage anyone wanting to lose weight to give up Fast Food and all restaurant ground beef for about 2 weeks and see if you don’t feel different. Also try to get even small amounts of resistance exercise. I did not join a gym, I just did old fashion sit ups and push ups. Experts claim that gaining 5 lbs of muscle can raise resting metabolism to burn an additional 100 calories each day.
Whether you are interested in a physically healthy lifestyle or not, I encourage you to get you and your family, especially your kids plugged in to a good Church for the sake of Spiritual fitness The Bible tells us in 1TIMOTHY 4 that physical exercise has some value, but Spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next.
I thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. If you have any questions, suggestions or feedback, please feel free to let me know on Facebook.
May God Bless you and your family.
This Page is the basic story of my weight loss journey. It includes the inspirations and methods that have contributed to my long term healthier lifestyle. I think it is very much worth the read. It is a little long and a little difficult to read at a computer. I suggest that you load your printer with about 12 pieces of paper and print this story. Then grab a cup of coffee or a beer and sit down in a comfortable chair to get the most out of it.
The story I am sharing below is not intended to be advice. What has worked for me, may not work for others. In fact, some experts would probably call a few of my habits and methods a little unhealthy. At one time, I was about 55 pounds heavier than I am now. I just feel that I have been blessed with very happy healthy living and I would like to see others have a chance to be just as fortunate.
Looking back, I believe I can first see evidence of God’s plan working in my life back in 1966. My wife, Brenda’s parents were guided by God to build a new home right next door to where my parents had just built a new home. I was 6 years old at the time. Brenda and I grew up in Fort Wayne Indiana, first as neighbors and then playmates; I think our parents caught us playing doctor a couple times. As we grew, we dated off and on several times over the years. In the summer of 1981, Brenda moved with her parents to Las Vegas and then shortly after that they moved to Phoenix Arizona.
While she was living out west, Brenda and I had occasional contact and visits and tried unsuccessfully to maintain a relationship. In the summer of 1984, we intended to permanently end our relationship. After some emotional ups and downs, I decided I was over her and firmly decided to have no further contact with her ever again. As of a year later, we had no contact of any kind. In May of 1985, one day the phone rang and I answered it. As I heard Brenda’s voice on the other end of the line, my knees buckled and my stomach sank, so I sat down on the couch. As we spoke, Brenda explained that she sent me a letter, not sure if I wanted anything to do with her. The letter stated that she planned to call me at that date and time. If I was not interested in talking, I did not need to answer the phone. I did not get the letter until a few days after the phone call. Had I got the letter, I doubt that I would have answered the phone. I believe that God made sure that I not only did not receive the letter until later, but that I was home at the time the phone rang. Over the next few months, we continued to write and phone each other. Thanksgiving weekend of 1985, I flew out to Phoenix, loaded Brenda, her car and her things into a piece of junk moving truck and moved her back to Fort Wayne so she could live with my parents. On Friday December the 13th, I went to the 13th floor of a building in Downtown Fort Wayne and bought an engagement ring. I thought, buying an engagement ring on Friday the 13th on the 13th floor of a tall building was bound to be a bad idea. Just before the start of midnight service, on Dec 24th 1985, in the back of a dimly lit church, I asked Brenda to marry me. On June 7th of 1986 we were married in that same church. We have had a very very happy marriage. We have seldom if ever fought even slightly. I just do everything her way and we get along just fine. When our anniversary comes around, we believe that we are not just celebrating our marriage; we believe that we are celebrating the continuation of our never ending honeymoon. By the grace of God, our honeymoon will continue for the rest of our lives.
In 1986, I weighed over 180 pounds so I tried to lose a little weight before the wedding, which did not happen. By early 1996, I was weighing over 215pounds and had about a 41” waist. I had spent the previous ten years trying and failing at various short term diets unsuccessfully. I had been working a fairly stressful management job and frequently used food as a pacifier to calm my nerves. Over the ten years, we had 2 children, Brenda and I were both working full time. We seldom had the time or energy to prepare dinner, so like many families our dinners were frequently fast food. Instead of losing weight, the stress of work and life was causing me to lose my hair. In the summer of ‘96, I left the stressful management job and became part owner of a restaurant/bar. I spent the rest of the year working and frequently eating in our restaurant. The food was mostly sandwiches, entrees and home style food, no fast food. Without even trying to lose weight, I lost 30 pounds in 6 months. In Dec of ‘96, I took a job doing commercial maintenance and construction. I went back to frequently eating fast food. I remember a Burger King near one construction site, having 99 cent Whoppers. I would have 1 Whopper for breakfast and have 2 Whoppers for lunch and then frequently have fast food for dinner. Even though, I was doing fairly physical construction work, in a short time, I regained the 30 pounds I had lost when I was not eating fast food.
By the start of 1999, I was back up to 215 pounds. In late January 1999, Brenda’s mom passed away at age 60, due to a heart attack, which was caused by living for many years with Diabetes. Brenda and I had been neighbors throughout our childhood and our families were very close. Her mom was like a second mom to me. Her death was difficult and I became very interested in learning what I could about diabetes. Later that spring I accepted my employers offer to take a position working in the Indianapolis area. Brenda and I decided that if we were relocating to a new area, we did not want her working outside the house, we definitely wanted her home with our 8 year old daughter and 5 year old son. At the time we relocated, Brenda had been bringing home more than half of our household income, it was going to be a financial struggle to get by on just my income, I knew I could not continue to spend 4 bucks a day on fast food breakfast and 6 bucks a day on fast food lunch; over $250 bucks a month on daytime meals so I started packing lunches to save money. Since Brenda was not working, she started making home cooked dinners every night. One day after lunch l, I was at work welding. I was leaning up against a large piece of equipment, looking through the darkness of my welding mask. My finger was pulling on the trigger of a welder gun that was shooting fire and sparks to weld the metal pieces together. The next thing I knew, I woke up to find my coat sleeve on fire. I had dozed off. A few days later, Brenda’s Aunt Shirley (her mom’s sister) was spending a few days with us. I told her the story about how I had dozed off at work. Shirley had been a nurse most of her life and was fairly knowledgeable about health issues. She told me that I may have been consuming too many carbs, which turn to sugar. Excess sugar in my diet could be causing my system to crash, causing me to get groggy after lunch. So I started packing one sandwich instead of two and started packing a variety of high protein energy bars. I was not trying to lose weight. I was eating a lot. I was eating very large bowls of cereal for breakfast, packing at least 2 large sandwiches for lunch and Brenda’s home cooked dinners were awesome, after working 12 hour days; I was piggin’ out for supper. Within a few months, I lost 20 pounds just by giving up the fast food to save money.
By the start of the year 2000, I was weighing about 195 pounds. I had spent the previous year reading everything I could find about diabetes. I had learned that some of the leading causes of Diabetes were believed to be Obesity and inactivity. At the time, I also read that the rate of the diagnosis of Diabetes was increasing dramatically. Many experts blamed the dramatic increase in Diabetes on the dramatic increase in Obesity. I also learned that the rates of Obesity and Diabetes were dramatically increasing for children. Many of these same experts claim that because of the epidemic levels of childhood Obesity and Diabetes, today’s children will be the first generation to average a shorter life expectancy than their parents. Today’s parents will be the first generation of parents likely to bury their own children. Genetics were also listed as a common cause of Diabetes. At the time, my 6 year old son was fairly chunky, not yet, quite as overweight as his dad, but when I looked around it was easy to see that overweight adults commonly have overweight children, I was certain that if I continued my lifestyle at the time, I would be leading my son to a life of Obesity and a greater likelihood of Diabetes. I realized that I could not do anything about his genetic risk of Diabetes except pray, but I also knew that if either of my children contracted Diabetes as a result of Obesity, I would feel very directly responsible. I would feel that my lack of control over my behavior had inflicted my child with a very serious disease.
So at the beginning of the Century, I made a New Years resolution to get in shape. I wanted to lose 10 pounds before our family vacation in June. I started by brushing the dust off of our treadmill, and tried to burn 100 calories, walking approximately 20 minutes 3 times a week. I did that until spring, then I would mow the grass twice a week or do other yard work. A friend had told me that he had lost quite a bit of weight by staying under 20 grams of fat per day before supper and then eating anything he wanted for supper. I thought to myself, if I could look forward to one good normal meal per day, I felt like I could probably handle that. Back then, I was not aware that there were good fats and bad fats, so I counted total fats. Looking back on it, I was probably consuming around 10g Sat Fat and zero Trans Fat before supper. I read that if the body feels hunger, the metabolism slows down, making weight loss difficult. So I made the decision to start each day with a bowl of healthy, whole grain, low fat cereal such as Total Raisin Bran to avoid feeling hunger. I also tried to keep some low fat snacks such as Kashi bars or fruit handy to fall back on if I started to feel very hungry. I also read that trans fat was the worst kind of fat to eat. Much of fast food at the time was and still is high in 2 types of bad fats, saturated fat and trans fat. I had also heard that the processing of many fast foods caused those foods to loose their nutrients. So, if I ate fast food, even though my stomach may feel satisfied, my body still felt hunger for nutrients. So I believed that the consumption of fast food was a double edged sword. Not only would it be putting more of the worst kinds fat into my body, my body would be storing more fat because it felt hunger. So I decided to avoid trans fat and fast food like the plague. One day after a few weeks of avoiding trans fat and not eating any fast food, we stopped at a local fast food restaurant and had a burger. I felt lousy afterward. Not sick, just heavy, bloated and groggy. I realized that I had spent many years feeling that way all the time, assuming it was normal. I guess I had to stay off the trans fat and fast food long enough to actually feel good, to know what bad feels like. It made avoiding fast food quite a bit easier. Now days, it is possible to go on the internet or on our phone and learn the nutritional value of restaurant foods. It is usually possible to find at least one item at each restaurant that is not an FMD (Food of Mass Destruction). I will occasionally allow myself to have a Wendy’s small chili or sensible Subway such as ham and turkey, no mayo. In my opinion, the Subway Tuna Salad sub is an FMD because of the Mayo. In the beginning I would start each day with a large bowl of healthy, whole grain cereal for breakfast at about 3a.m. Then I would eat a high protein energy bar for an 8a.m. snack. Then I would eat baked chips and salsa for lunch. All total, I was eating about 15 grams of fat per day, and then about anything I wanted for supper. I actually lost over 20 pounds before our June vacation.
During the year 2000, I lost over 20 pounds before June. By the end of the year, like most years, I gained a little back over the holidays. At the start of 2001 I weighed about 180 pounds so I made a resolution to try to lose 15 to 20 pounds before our June family vacation. Every year, I would try to make a resolution to lose some more weight. I would always weigh myself daily at the same time with the same clothes on. I would usually set small obtainable weight loss targets. I have long been a believer that I would rather under promise and over deliver. It is seldom disappointing to exceed our expectations. The philosophy has kept my wife happy. I would also mark the back side of my belt with a Sharpie. I would draw a circle around the next notch on my belt making it a target. When I would reach the target comfortably, I would allow myself to draw an “X” through the target and then draw a new target on the next notch. Sometimes I would reach the belt target without reaching the weight target. By having 2 targets to shoot for, I had a better chance of reaching a target that would help provide motivation to keep me aiming for a new target. Each year I would also make a resolution to change one habit or improve one health behavior. One year I would give up caffeine, another year I would try to give up table salt or increase protein or increase fiber. In 2007, my resolution was to reduce soft drinks and increase water. For years, I had consumed 10-12 cans of pop per day. Even though they were diet drinks, if the calories weren’t bad for me, the cans probably were. That much aluminum was probably poisonous. Trying to increase water was difficult, but now I am up to about 5 or 6 bottles per day. I’ve heard that I should drink 1 ounce for every 2 pounds of my goal weight. So, if my goal weight is 150 pounds, my water goal should be 75 ounces per day. A few years ago, I heard that visceral fat, or fat around the belly area increases the risk of Diabetes. Fat around the mid section tends to start on the Liver causing the Liver to work harder, which then causes the Pancreas to work harder, eventually failing and leading to Diabetes. I also heard that strength exercises were better for losing weight than cardio exercises, because Cardio exercises only burn extra calories while exercising. Strength exercises increase the metabolism, which burns extra calories 24/7, even when I sleep, I could burn more calories; so instead of doing the treadmill, I got a sit-up bench and started doing about 50 sit ups per day. Then a year or so later, I started doing about 50 push ups per day. I currently put my feet on a stool about 18” high to increase the intensity of my push ups.
In the year 2009, I was diagnosed with mild Anemia. Likely from years of avoiding red meat. So I started taking an Iron Supplement and eating a little more (lean) red meat.
At the start of 2010, my daughter found a commercial grade stair climber at the Goodwill for 20 bucks. It was a real deal of the Century. Once we got it home and cleaned it up, it looked almost brand new. I priced identical machines on Ebay for over a thousand bucks. My resolution this year was to rotate my exercises. Every other day I would do 50 sit ups along with 50 push ups. On alternate days, I would burn 100 calories on the stair climber. I set the stair climber on speed 70, so I climb 40 floors or 400 feet in a little over 5 minutes. Whether I do my 50 and 50 or my Hundred Calories, it only takes about 5 minutes per day, but it is pretty intense. On my days off I usually don’t exercise. Maybe I walk the dog.
This year the family also made a resolution to have a Light Night 2 nights per week. Our kids are both teenagers now with different food tastes, so we each make our own dinner, something quick and light. Then we all sit down and eat together. Way back when the kids were toddlers, on the advice of my sixth grade teacher, we made it a household policy to sit down to dinner TOGETHER as frequently as possible, with the TV OFF. On light nights I commonly have a small pack of salmon or tuna and a bowl of cereal. To make the cereal more of a meal, I usually mix 3 or 4 kinds of healthy cereal together, and add some raisins, trail mix, banana and honey. Honey has a lower Glycemic index than sugar which means honey is less likely to cause Diabetes than sugar. A while back I read that honey is good for the immune system. I believe that’s true because every time I eat some honey, I feel just great when I get done. I have learned to enjoy cereal or fruit such as watermelon or fresh pineapple instead of sweets for desert and snacks. A while back, my wife must have read something in the news about the special health benefits of watermelon because she has been buying a lot of it lately.
Recently we also made a family decision to treat High Fructose Corn Syrup like Trans Fat and avoid it like the plague. High Fructose Corn Syrup is one of the first ingredients in many non-diet soft drinks. My wife was recently told by a rep from the American Diabetes Association, that some studies are starting to show a link between High Fructose Corn Syrup and Diabetes.
I strongly believe healthy, whole grain cereals have been a large benefit to my effort to lose weight. Some nights, when I crave another plate full of dinner, I will have a bowl of cereal instead. A full cup of Multi Grain Cheerios with skim milk is only 150 calories, zero fat, a decent amount of fiber and 100% of a whole bunch of vitamins and minerals. At one time, I considered writing a book about my diet and calling it the TLC Diet, (Tim LaFever Cereal Diet).
In 1999, I weighed 215 pounds and had a snug 40” waist. I was so fat, the back of my neck looked like a pack of hot dogs. Now in June of 2010, before our family vacation, I am 50 years old. I weigh less than 155 pounds, and wear 32 waist, Dockers Classic Fit, Flat Front pants. I very comfortably wear 32 waist, Standard Fit jeans. I don’t think I have had a 32 waist pants since I was a Junior in High School. And I have about 9 X’s on the back of my work belt.
While my effort to live healthy has been blessed with success so far, I have and still do experience some struggles along the way. At the beginning of my weight loss journey, my wife and the rest of the family were not on board with my new lifestyle. Once they started going along with it, things were quite a bit easier. My parents were both very hard workers while I was growing up, so I developed a fairly strong work ethic. During the day when I am at work, it is not difficult for me to do what I think I should be doing and that includes eating what I think I should eat. It was not too difficult for me to completely give up soft drinks during the work day. I still allow myself to have a soft drink with after work meals. Most people can not eat the same thing every day. When I am at work it is not difficult for me to eat the same thing every day for weeks or months at a time. By doing so, the only variable in my diet is usually supper. By weighing myself daily and by watching how my belt fits, I would get some idea of which foods that I ate were more difficult to burn off. For example: if I had one of my favorites, a Pizza Hut Meat Lovers Pizza, on Saturday night, it seemed like I carried the weight until about the following Thursday. If I went to Pizza Hut on Saturday night and got a Chicken Veggie Pizza, by Monday morning my weight was usually back down to what it was prior to the weekend.
One of my big struggles is portion control. I read a while back that what ever a woman eats during her pregnancy, the child will likely grow up with a desire for that food. I think my mom must have been a PIG. Just kiddin’ mom. If I go to a pitch in, pot luck or buffet, I can put away an unbelievable amount of food. My family nearly falls asleep waiting on me to finish eating. Holidays are a real struggle. One year I weighed myself Thanksgiving morning. Before bed that same day, I weighed myself again and I actually, no exaggeration, my wife saw it, I gained 12 pounds. By learning and remembering what the Bible says in Proverbs 23, Ezekiel 16, and Philippians 3 about gluttony being a sin, I have learned to control my binging somewhat, most of the time. I still lose control once in a while. I also struggle with leftover food. If there is not enough dinner left to make a meal for another night, because I hate to see good home cooked food thrown away, I will usually want to go ahead and finish eating it all. I have just recently learned to let small amounts of food be thrown away. Giving up soft drinks and paying for water were both very difficult adjustments for me to make. I usually do not like the taste of most tap waters but I was able to get myself to realize the bottled waters cost less than soft drinks. Because artificial sweeteners do not bother me like they do some people, I can occasionally add flavored fitness or energy powders to my bottled waters. Cheese was also a very difficult thing for me to cut back on. Having calcium and protein, most cheese is not all that unhealthy. But I would always put piles of shredded cheese on anything warm enough to melt it. I have since learned to substitute parmesan cheese which is much lower in saturated fat than most shredded cheeses.
I have had a few personal traits that have been helpful along the way. First, I do not mind lawn work and shoveling snow. It is easier for me to exercise when it serves a purpose. Secondly, some people need to add fat to food to give it a desirable flavor. It was not difficult for me to avoid fried food. I do occasionally allow myself to have homemade fried chicken or fish. I use canola oil or peanut oil for deep frying and olive oil for pan frying. Most fried potato chips and French fries are FMD’s. Deep fried in saturated and or trans fat. I like spicy foods so it is easy for me to add spice to veggies and other foods that some people would consider too bland to enjoy. I have read recently that the capsaicin(component of peppers that creates the burning sensation) in hot peppers helps to raise metabolism and increase the burning of calories. I have read that the common ingredients of Salsa: Garlic, Onion and Cayenne Pepper are 3 of the 5 top natural antibiotics. Tomatos contain Lycopene, a vital anti-oxidant that helps in the fight against cancerous cell formation as well as other kinds of health complications and diseases.
Trying to live healthy has several advantages other than my lower weight. I used to have Sleep Apnea, a condition in which my air way would become closed off while I was sleeping and I would wake up coughing and gasping for air. I have not experienced that condition in years. I also used to have frequent lower back pain. It has been gone for years. I make fewer day and night trips to the bathroom. For years I have always had a stool in the closet to sit down on to put on my socks and pants. Several years ago, I noticed that I was standing, balancing on one foot as I was putting on my socks and pants one leg at a time, while the stool sat empty. In 2001 I had spent the day on a construction sight working on my knees. For the next few days my knees were killing me. At the time, I met a business acquaintance who told me that he had always had knee problems until he started taking Gloucosamine and Chondroitin (a joint supplement). I went to the Wal Mart and bought some and have been taking some ever since. Now I frequently spend 8 to 10 hour days working construction on my knees and the next day, I have no discomfort. Guys half my age can barely walk the next day. I also do an Air Borne Vitamin C supplement in a bottle of water every day. By the grace of God, I have not had a sick day since Feb 2001. Several years ago, I also started taking a couple fish oil pills (rich in omega 3) everyday. If you search health benefits of Omega-3, you will find an extraordinary amount of info. I think it is supposed to help avoid Alzheimer’s, but I can’t remember. We save money on food. Many Wal Mart brand foods have zero trans fat. Trans fat is anything that is partially hydrogenated. The way I understand it. Food makers are allowed to have half a gram of trans fat per serving in food and still call it zero trans fat. So if a serving of cookies is 2 cookies, and I ate 4 cookies, I could be eating 1 gram of trans fat. I save time by taking my lunch to work instead of standing in line at so called fast food restaurants.
One of the best advantages has been seeing my kids become young adults and neither one is chunky, they are both at very desirable healthy weight.
A few years ago, my wife and kids and I all sat down together and decided on our family values:
God
Family
Health
Education
Honest Work.
These values are printed and prominently displayed in each bedroom. Because we were all on board, it is convenient to refer to our values as a reminder if the kids want to stay up late on a school night, or if somebody brings home snacks that lack nutrition or are loaded with bad fats. A few years ago, we told the kids they had to limit all after school snacks to 300 calories or less and no trans fat. When the kids go to Wal Mart with us to get groceries and they see a snack that looks good. They pick up the package and without us saying anything, they read the label before they even attempt to put it in the cart. If it has bad ingredients they put it back and try to find a healthier alternative. Just as if I had continued my unhealthy habits which would have likely rubbed off on the kids, our healthy habits have rubbed off on the kids just as well. Now our kids are young responsible adults, they both live on their own. They both have gym memberships, are fit and have healthy habits.
The weight loss did have a couple disadvantages. I occasionally needed to buy new clothes which was kind of a curse and blessing because as I would lose the weight, I would give the old clothes to Goodwill. I hate to spend money on clothes, so I had good incentive to keep the weight off to avoid buying back the clothes I had just given away. A few years ago, I was working on a winter construction site. I was walking toward the Porta Lets to use the restroom as I was pulling off my gloves and I heard a tinkle on the ground. Tinkle on the ground, while walking toward a Porta Let doesn’t sound right. But anyway. Later that day, I noticed that my wedding band was gone. My fingers had become skinny enough to allow it to fall off, probably in front of the Porta Let. It was winter with snow on the ground, so I was unable to find it and had to buy a new one.
Well, that’s about enough about my healthy living. I have also been blessed with many, many years of happy living. My wife and I have been very happily married since 1986. We seldom, if ever, argue and have never argued in front of the kids. I started losing weight and exercising to stay in shape over 20 years ago which definitely brought me quite a bit of happiness. I strongly believe that the relationships my family and I have developed with God through our Church, our Church Family and our Home Group Family have been a great source of a very large portion of our happiness. Like I said earlier, we moved to the Indy area in 1999. My wife and I were both confirmed Catholic and occasionally attended the local Catholic Church but never really connected.
In 2002 my wife started attending various Churches in the area trying to find a place that we would all feel good about. One day she told me that the local Christian Church that her and the kids had been attending, was getting ready to have the grand opening of their new Worship Center. She asked if I wanted to go with them. Well I was skeptical, but I decided to go with an open mind. I was totally WOWED. The place just clicked. Everybody shined. The music was great. The sermon was awesome. I figured that after the newness wore off, things would settle down. A few months later we went to the Church one evening to attend Vacation Bible School. While we were walking from the parking lot to the Church, our kids took off running to the door of the Church. I told my wife that when I was their age, my parents had to drag me to the Church, our kids were RUNNING! I knew then that we were in the right place. Now that our children have grown into extraordinary young adults, I strongly encourage new parents to find a good Church that has thriving Youth Ministries. The Youth Ministries at our Church have been a tremendous blessing to our children. A few years after we started attending the Church, I read the book Purpose Driven Life, by Rick Warren. Then I started reading and studying the Bible. I strongly recommend both books. Because of our Church, our kids read and know the Bible better than I did when I was 40 years old. And I can honestly say that after more than 17 years attending the Church, the WOW has NOT worn off, not even a little bit.
A few years ago I was averaging over 65 hours a week at work. About then, the Senior Pastor at our Church did a sermon that I call his Marbles In A Bucket Sermon. He had a bag of marbles. He told us he had one marble in the bag for every weekend that he had left to spend with his daughters before they turned 18 and headed off to college. Every week he would take a marble out of the bag and throw it in to the metal bucket that he kept in his office. Like the marble, that weekend was gone. As he stepped off the stage, the Church was silent as he took a marble from the bag and threw it into the bucket. If you can picture the sound of a marble landing in a metal bucket with a clear echoing thud. I clearly remember that it sounded so final and so alone. The sermon really hit me. My wife and I went home and made a list of all the wants that were affordable to the family because of all those overtime hours. We sat down with the kids and ask them if they wanted daddy home more often. Or if they wanted to keep having all the things on the list. They said they wanted daddy home more often. So we started crossing things off the list. Like eating healthy, it was a lot easier knowing everybody was on board. I doubt that I would have ever reduced my hours and my income if the whole family would not have been on board. About the same time, my employer started asking me to reduce my hours. So every year since then, I have tried to cut back a little. This year, my goal is to work 52 hours per week or less. Tony Dungy says in his book Quiet Strength, “I really wanted to show people you can win all kinds of ways….For your faith to be more important than your job, for your family to be more important than that job… we all know that’s the way it should be…I’m not afraid to say it."
Don’t get me wrong. I like my job very much. My dad spent 30 years at a job he hated getting paid very little in order to provide for his family. I thank God frequently that I have a job that I enjoy and I get paid pretty good. I feel truly blessed to have such a fortunate opportunity to provide for my family, I just try to keep things at a healthy balance for my family. God has also blessed us over the last few years by helping Brenda find employment opportunities working from home. That has definitely given us the opportunity to much better afford all of our needs and a lot more of our wants.
My family and I have had many many years of rich happiness. The last several years have likely been better than I deserve. I realize that none of my attempts to lose weight and live healthy would have happened but for the grace of God. I know that apart from Him, I can do nothing. I pray that God gives me the wisdom to continue eating to live, instead of living to eat. The Bible tells us in Romans 8 and 1Corinthians 3 and 6 that our body is the Lord’s Temple and we should take care of it. I also realize that despite all my efforts to live healthy, I could die tomorrow. Each breath we take could very well be our last. I hope that I always have the faith to accept God’s will regardless of what his plan may be. Looking back to when Brenda’s mom past away, I believe now that it may have been part of God’s plan to guide us to where we are now. When we lived in Fort Wayne, we lived near Brenda’s parents and Brenda and her mom were very close. I strongly believe that if Brenda’s mom had been alive when I received my employers offer to move 2 hours away, to the Indy area, we would have never considered it. If we had not accepted the offer to move, I doubt that we would have made the decision for her to stay home with our kids, which I believe was a very good thing for our family and my health. If we had not accepted the offer to move, we would have never found our wonderful Church and my family and I would not likely have the strong relationships we have with God.
That pretty much concludes my story about how I got to where I am now. I feel that I have always been very happy. I have great parents. My Mom and Dad always worked very hard to provide lots and lots of wants, needs and love for my sisters and I while I was growing up. Since I was very young, I have always had some relationship with God but had very little knowledge of his wants as I don’t think I had ever read a full page of the Bible. After my family and I joined our Church, I started reading and studying the Bible. I also made a commitment in my heart to become a better Christian.
I am not saying that I am holier than thou, a saint or any better person than anybody else. As the Bible says in Romans 3, we all sin, we all fall short. The Bible also tells us in First John 1, if we claim we have not sinned, we make God out to be a liar. Though I occasionally slip and fail to do what I know is right, I try to be very persistent about always doing good and becoming a better Christian.
I guess you might say that because of my deeper relationship with God, I have gone from a very happy but Spiritually empty 215 pounds to a happier, Spiritually full 160 pounds. Looking back, I would say that my wife and kids have been my biggest inspiration to try to live a more healthy and more Spiritual lifestlye.
If you would like to know more details about my weight loss, you are invited to read the other Pages of my Web Site. They include a chart of my Typical Daily Eating. Food Categories: lists of foods that I have categorized Green-go for it, Yellow-consume with caution, Red-FMD (foods of mass destruction). There is also a page called Most Wanted Foods. It provides photos of foods and supplements that I believe have helped me get to my present weight. To the best of my knowledge all info is accurate at this time. Food manufacturers do frequently change ingredients.
Over the years I have attempted to continue my education about healthy eating. Sometimes it can be a little confusing. Eggs were bad for us, now they’re not. Vitamin D is being called the latest miracle nutrient. Where do we get vitamin D? From the Sun, the same place we get skin cancer. I recently heard one of the Doctors on one of the afternoon TV programs say that if we live north of Georgia, it is hard to get enough Vitamin D without a supplement.
For the most part, I have focused on counting Fat Grams, especially Sat Fat, Protein, Fiber and recently Iron. I have put little effort into counting calories, carbs or salt. Over the years, my blood work has not shown any concern regarding sodium or cholesterol. Some of the foods and frozen entrees I eat, i.e. the Asian ones are a little high in sodium.
Over the years, I have learned that it is much easier to lose weight and eat healthy if the whole house is on board. If you have someone in your house trying to eat healthier and or lose weight, even if you do not need to, I encourage you to get on board and be supportive. Their life and the lives of your children might depend on it. For those of us who are not naturally thin, trying to down size can be a real struggle. Just because a person is naturally thin, doesn’t mean they do not have room to eat a little healthier.
I encourage anyone wanting to lose weight to give up Fast Food and all restaurant ground beef for about 2 weeks and see if you don’t feel different. Also try to get even small amounts of resistance exercise. I did not join a gym, I just did old fashion sit ups and push ups. Experts claim that gaining 5 lbs of muscle can raise resting metabolism to burn an additional 100 calories each day.
Whether you are interested in a physically healthy lifestyle or not, I encourage you to get you and your family, especially your kids plugged in to a good Church for the sake of Spiritual fitness The Bible tells us in 1TIMOTHY 4 that physical exercise has some value, but Spiritual exercise is much more important, for it promises a reward in both this life and the next.
I thank you so much for taking the time to read my story. If you have any questions, suggestions or feedback, please feel free to let me know on Facebook.
May God Bless you and your family.